Tribute to Nancy

 This afternoon, coincidentally around the same time as Sean Connery, our Aunty Nancy died.

Nancy (née Laity), was born at the start of 1935, the youngest child of three born to Lily May Jacobs and William Henry Laity.

By 1940 William had deserted Anna and the children. Eventually he would have a second family with another daughter and three more sons, including my Dad.

Nancy and her sister Stella, were avid lovers of family history, genealogy, and Cornish culture. Nancy was, in fact, my first real life example that genealogy & family history are not only things that it is okay to like, but also that it was the kind of thing that real people could engage with.

Nancy once told me that she early on in her marriage to Jim she had started looking for the half siblings. The search proved fruitful and both Stella and Nancy were writing regularly with my Dad by the mid 90s.

We all attended the 'Great Laity Gathering' family reunion in Marazion in the summer of '97, arriving a day or so early in order to meet Stella, Noah, Nancy, Jim & Alison first.

Nancy & Stella the first day we met
Taken outside Stella's house in St. Blazey.

'Great Laity Gathering 1997'
Trip to St. Michael's Mount to see the
portrait of Dolly Pentreath
RH edge: Dad (in black), Sis (in white), Mum (in orange)
I took the photo. Walking between Stella & Nancy.

That trip was the one that consolidated that there would always be a family history & genealogy journey at some point during my life. Stella made a proper Cornish tea that first afternoon and from then, throughout the rest of her life until she entered nursing care, Nancy gave me first potted genealogy basics lessons, what 'vitals' are, how to record and read trees, primary documents, secondary sources and photographs. She even taught me about the fine art of graveyard hunting for dead relatives. Later she would go on to share more research tips & first her discoveries, then later, she shared mine with equal excitement. She was so encouraging from day one. I remember she said to me that first day, if I got good, perhaps I could join the 'family genealogy team', co-ordinated by cousin Russell in the states. I said I'd love to join in and research with her & she joked that maybe after she passed, a slot might come up for me. I've lived half in terror of that happening ever since. Nevertheless, it was a really motivating joke. She was an exceptionally clever woman.

We stayed in touch and another proud day, was when my eldest son was tiny and we were able to get down to Newquay, she made him his first taste of Cornish pasty and on the same day, taught me the family pasty recipe. 

We stayed in touch across the years, mostly sharing family & genealogy news. 
The weekend before my Dad died we spoke on the 'phone and she was so warm, loving and supportive. 

Mum and I saw her last in June 2015, not long before she moved into nursing care. Shortly after, with the help of cousin Russell, we made a discovery about the family tree that allowed us to push back one generation by using the Land Grants of Henry VIII in Cornwall. This also allowed us to unify some of the branches higher up and tidy off some loose ends. I wrote to her about it, but I'm not sure she was able for that kind of information by that time. Still, it felt the right thing to do to keep her included. I never did write to her about the DNA side of things. Mainly because I think by that time, it would have been a bit beyond her. In a parallel world though, it would have been so cool to look together over our shared DNA & chase down the people and the stories.

I will most remember her as a massive source of love and support. She didn't care about the circumstances of how we came to be related, but that we were family.
Tonight I am strolling again through the Laity side of the family tree. Retracing her steps and seeing what there could be out there that's new.

Sleep tight Aunty Nancy. You are so loved. xxx

Just 28 Days (on time and DNA testing)

We're finally really getting down to doing our DNA testing. I can hardly believe the thing we've talked of for so long (especially for himself and his Italian side) is actually happening.

In the end, we decided that the best one for us at this time is the My Heritage kit (which is currently on special offer as it happens). We got a fantastic deal and the test is beautifully low-tech in that it's a really simple cheek swab.

Should you have an opportunity to try one, I highly recommend it. I think most of us have had those times where a place or activity has been somehow familiar and then we've later gone on to find that we had ancestors in that place or doing that activity. It's like it resonates with something deep within us. Stating my bias here, I'm extremely interested in the notion of collective/generational memory. I also highly recommend reading some of the scientific investigations around it if you're interested too. They're an absolutely riveting read.

It was very peculiar to sit there last night, watching a digital clock display on the computer counting off the seconds to one minute either side, rolling that swab around.
Of course there's nothing to see and very little sensation - it's a bit like if you've ever had a piece of cotton wool brush against the inside of your cheek, but it's a strange and oddly confronting thing to sit and think 'what would even my grandparents think of this?'
We are in an age of more scientific privilege than ever before and progress is so swift. Isn't it frightening to think that there are now University graduates who couldn't, without help tell you what the relationship is between a cassette tape and a pencil?!
...these are just a few of the thoughts that raced through my head while performing my test.

It was such a small thing and a large thing at the same time. Stupidly, I felt a little under-dressed for the occasion sat at my desk in sweater and jeans. Though for the life of me, I couldn't tell you what would have felt more appropriate. As though somehow, magically, it might improve the test I also felt as though I should be thinking 'good thoughts' of all my ancestors (though truly, I haven't yet found an ancestor I haven't at least fallen for a little bit). It's a huge responsibility in some ways too. I found myself thinking: "What if my DNA's broken, or damaged? What if there's not enough of it? What if it doesn't carry enough information to be worthwhile?" I had to give myself a stern talking to on that and as with this blog, I called to mind the future ghost of some downward descendant who's often with me when I'm tracking our family's history and remember that as much as genealogy is a pursuit for one's own edification and pleasure, potentially some point down the track, it may also prove to be a tiny treasure for those who come after, particularly for those of us who bridge the gap between the analogue and digital eras.

Now there's just that four weeks wait for results. That in itself is an odd thing. In today's world it seems like such a long time, and yet, four short weeks ago from today I was back to work following time off for our wedding (separate post on that sometime soon. You've probably noticed it takes me a while to get the words to come together) and four weeks from now it will almost be Samhain and the Celtic New Year, which is one of my most favourite holidays in the world.
I'm also remembering back to childhood. There was a book that used to be put out (by Royal mail I think) that covered all kinds of interesting and educational activities that, if you liked the look of them, you could send 28p and however many stamps and in "just 28 days" you'd receive a parcel - honest-to-goodness exciting post. That time just used to seem to fly by, so I think I'm going to have to remind myself that it's "just 28 days" and contain my soul in patience. After his and my results arrive we have to do it all over again for the other members of our family who've kindly agreed to test as well.

I'm excited with the potential learning opportunities from this experience. On my father's side, my cousin has kindly agreed to test, which is lovely as we are sadly low on males to test on our Laity side now. I'm aware of other males who have tested up our common lines, particularly the Spencer/Spencer-Churchill side & I believe there is someone out there who tested some Hobbins Men also. On my mother's side, my two second cousins have agreed to test with me. This will be interesting for all of us as their maternal grandmother and my maternal grandmother (Olive and Edna Dawson respectively) were identical twins, so we're expecting that between us, we may have some very interesting results.


Have you done any DNA testing? What was your experience like?